Giving Up the Ship » Boggles the Mind http://www.givinguptheship.com Last One Out...Turn out the Lights Sun, 22 Jan 2012 03:22:55 +0000 en hourly 1 Worst. News Story. Ever. http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/18/worst-news-story-ever/ http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/18/worst-news-story-ever/#comments Wed, 18 Jan 2012 05:23:31 +0000 captain http://www.givinguptheship.com/?p=456 We didn’t go to fancy journalism school, so you’ll have to excuse our naivete in assuming that a news article ought to include news.  So we were pretty puzzled when we came across an article in The Vancouver Sun entitled “Museum curator may have answer to Vancouver Island totem-pole mystery”  Could be interesting we thought. [...]

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]]> We didn’t go to fancy journalism school, so you’ll have to excuse our naivete in assuming that a news article ought to include news.  So we were pretty puzzled when we came across an article in The Vancouver Sun entitled “Museum curator may have answer to Vancouver Island totem-pole mystery”  Could be interesting we thought. We like mysteries. There’s some mystery about a totem pole and a museum curator has a theory. Not exactly. Here’s the entire article:

The origin of the totem pole that washed up at Ogden Point remains a mystery, but some answers may come today when the battered pole is inspected by Grant Keddie, archaeology curator at the Royal B.C. Museum.

Keddie is currently on leave and cannot get to Ogden Point until today, said museum spokeswoman Sue Stackhouse.

“We have had several calls from different parties about that pole,” Stackhouse said.

Hmm, so a totem pole washed up. Mysterious. But no news to report. Some people have called the museum wondering, but the curator is on leave. So nobody knows anything. But we might know something if curator Grant Keddie goes by today. Or not, if he doesn’t get to it. Or something.  Slow news day, we guess.

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]]> http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/18/worst-news-story-ever/feed/ 0 But What Would She Do For A Klondike Bar? Woman Arrested For Offering Sexual Favor In Exchange For McNuggets http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/17/but-what-would-she-do-for-a-klondike-bar-woman-arrested-for-offering-sexual-favor-in-exchange-for-mcnuggets/ http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/17/but-what-would-she-do-for-a-klondike-bar-woman-arrested-for-offering-sexual-favor-in-exchange-for-mcnuggets/#comments Tue, 17 Jan 2012 13:08:25 +0000 captain http://www.givinguptheship.com/?p=452 Khadijah Baseer really, really wanted some Chicken McNuggets, but lacked the cash with which to purchase them. So she did what any other crazy or altered person with a craving for processed chicken-like meat would do- started walking down the drive thru line at 11PM, opening doors and offering sex for Chicken McNuggets.  Shockingly, rather [...]

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]]> Khadijah Baseer really, really wanted some Chicken McNuggets, but lacked the cash with which to purchase them. So she did what any other crazy or altered person with a craving for processed chicken-like meat would do- started walking down

Photo of a 20-piece box of McDonald's Chicken ...

the drive thru line at 11PM, opening doors and offering sex for Chicken McNuggets.  Shockingly, rather than take up a deranged woman on her bizarre proposition, a patron called police, and Baseer was arrested on suspicion of prostitution. We guess nobody wanted her Egg McMuffin.

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]]> http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/17/but-what-would-she-do-for-a-klondike-bar-woman-arrested-for-offering-sexual-favor-in-exchange-for-mcnuggets/feed/ 0 Two Small Men With Big Nerve Steal Family’s Belongings, Refuse To Honor Judge’s Order http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/16/two-small-men-with-big-nerve-steal-familys-belongings-refuse-to-honor-judges-order/ http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/16/two-small-men-with-big-nerve-steal-familys-belongings-refuse-to-honor-judges-order/#comments Mon, 16 Jan 2012 20:55:30 +0000 captain http://www.givinguptheship.com/?p=440 Natasha Mitchell of Kitchener, Ontario hired a local franchise of Two Small Men With Big Hearts to move all of her family’s belongings in 2009. She’s still waiting for them to arrive. The company showed up on the appointed day, but refused to release Mitchell’s possessions unless she paid $890 on the spot- far more [...]

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]]> Natasha Mitchell of Kitchener, Ontario hired a local franchise of Two Small Men With Big Hearts to move all of her family’s belongings in 2009. She’s still waiting for them to arrive. The company showed up on the appointed day, but refused to release Mitchell’s possessions unless she paid $890 on the spot- far more than the agreed upon $500.  By that evening, the company was demanding $1245, and by the next day $1901, with a threat that if not paid immediately, it would rise again to $2529. Mitchell sued, but has till not gotten her stuff, which is, apparently, in franchise owner Himanshu “Lucky” Batta’s garage.

The judge was quite angry with Batta’s behavior:

“He appeared quite oblivious to the fact that the kind of option he was giving her was the kind of option which might be given by a blackmailer to his victim,” said the judge in his ruling.

“They were simply unilateral demands,” said the judge. “Fortunately … for Mr. Batta and the defendant’s other employees, this is not a criminal court and criminal charges such as extortion, fraud and theft were not laid against them.”

The court awarded [Mitchell] $22,419, plus interest and costs.

Batta remains unmoved and defiant. “That was a wrong judgment against me. [The judge] does not have a right to say that to me,” said Batta. There is good news for Mitchell, though.

As a result of CBC News inquires, a manager at the head office of Two Small Men Canada said Batta will be forced to honour the judgment.

“We are going to hold him accountable for this,” said Rosario Bullaro from Winnipeg. “TSM Canada will see to it that she gets paid. If [Batta] doesn’t pay it, TSM will pay it, and go after him for the money.”

Bullaro also said by exposing Two Small Men to negative publicity and putting good franchise owners in a bad light, Batta has put his licence at risk.

“I will have a letter drawn up from our corporate lawyer to take steps to shut them down,” he said. He also praised Mitchell for going to court on her own. “Good for her for standing up for her rights.”

Another Ontario operation of Two Small Men with Big Hearts has pleaded guilty to similar practices. The Ontario Ministry of Consumer Services said the North York location admitted to “renegotiating a contract under duress” and two other charges in March 2010.

The franchise was fined $2,250. Since then, the government’s had three new complaints about the same location.

This is not the first time a moving company has been found to behave in such an unscrupulous manner.  People are particularly vulnerable when their life’s possessions are locked in someone else’s truck.  Another reminder to use extreme caution when selecting a moving company..

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]]> http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/16/two-small-men-with-big-nerve-steal-familys-belongings-refuse-to-honor-judges-order/feed/ 0 Virginia Serial Butt Slasher Captured In Peru http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/15/virginia-serial-butt-slasher-captured-in-peru/ http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/15/virginia-serial-butt-slasher-captured-in-peru/#comments Sun, 15 Jan 2012 06:16:44 +0000 captain http://www.givinguptheship.com/?p=429 It feels like it ought to be a euphemism, but Johnny D Guillen has been arrested in Peru after fleeing Virginia, where he is believed to have slashed the buttocks of 13 young women. Fairfax County Police in Virginia posted on its website that the man — whom it identifies as Johnny D. Guillen Pimentel [...]

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]]> It feels like it ought to be a euphemism, but Johnny D Guillen has been arrested in Peru after fleeing Virginia, where he is believed to have slashed the buttocks of 13 young women.

Fairfax County Police in Virginia posted on its website that the man — whom it identifies as Johnny D. Guillen Pimentel — is suspected in a retail store assault that took place last year.

County police set up a task force to try to find a serial assailant responsible for several attacks that took place between February 2011 and July 2011.

“In each case, the suspect distracts his victim before cutting them. The victims have all been teenaged women or in their early 20s,” Fairfax County Police said in a statement last year.

In one incident, officers responded to a report of a woman who suffered a 1 1/2 inch wound to her buttocks at a Forever 21 store on July 25.

“The 18-year-old victim was shopping when she noticed clothes that had fallen off of a rack behind her and saw a man bending down to pick them up,” police said. “She abruptly felt a sharp pain and considered that one of the hangers had struck her. A short time later, she discovered her denim shorts had been slashed; her buttocks had been cut and were bleeding.”

In another case, police said, a 21-year-old woman was shopping at a T.J. Maxx store at Fairfax Towne Center on June 8 when she felt a pinch on her buttocks.

Similar to other reports, “the victim turned around, saw a man picking up pieces of clothing and thought she may have been cut by one of the hangers,” police said. “When the woman returned home, she discovered cuts in her clothing.”

We’re certain Viriginia police are working hard to get to the bottom of this matter in which a man made an ass out of them.  Once again, in Viriginia, it’s bottoms up!

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]]> http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/15/virginia-serial-butt-slasher-captured-in-peru/feed/ 0 US Deports Natural-Born 14 Year Old Runaway To Columbia http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/06/us-deports-natural-born-14-year-old-runaway-to-columbia/ http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/06/us-deports-natural-born-14-year-old-runaway-to-columbia/#comments Fri, 06 Jan 2012 01:41:44 +0000 captain http://www.givinguptheship.com/?p=403 Jakadrien Turner was born in the United States.  She is a United States Citizen. She speaks is African-American and speaks no Spanish.  Yet when she was arrested last year in Houston for shoplifiting, six month after the 14 year old ran away from her home in Dallas, police decided she was a 22 year old [...]

US Deports Natural-Born 14 Year Old Runaway To Columbia is a post from Giving Up the Ship - Last One Out...Turn out the Lights. All Rights Reserved.

]]> Jakadrien Turner was born in the United States.  She is a United States Citizen. She speaks is African-American and speaks no Spanish.  Yet when she was arrested last year in Houston for shoplifiting, six month after the 14 year old ran away from her home in Dallas, police decided she was a 22 year old illegal immigrant from Columbia and turned over to United States Immigration and Customs Enforcement(ICE).  It seems she had the misfortune of giving a fake name which found a match in their database.  One would think that it would be simple to determine that a 14 year old African-American girl with no knowledge of Spanish was not a 22 year old Columbian national. After all, ICE tells us

ICE officials also noted there have been instances where ICE has seen cases of individuals providing inaccurate information regarding who they are and their immigration status for ulterior motives.

A strange way to say that people lie to ICE.  That should be obvious. And, one would think, better at detecting falsehoods. It’s certainly not a defense for deporting a 14 year old girl.  Meanwhile, as her family awaits her return, Ms. Turner sits in a Columbian prison, apparently pregnant, and waiting for Columbian authorities to agree to her release back to the United States.

 

 

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]]> http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/06/us-deports-natural-born-14-year-old-runaway-to-columbia/feed/ 0 “It Doesn’t Appear She Urinated On The Painting Or The Urine Damaged It” http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/05/it-doesnt-appear-she-urinated-on-the-painting-or-the-urine-damaged-it/ http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/05/it-doesnt-appear-she-urinated-on-the-painting-or-the-urine-damaged-it/#comments Thu, 05 Jan 2012 21:05:31 +0000 captain http://www.givinguptheship.com/?p=396 In what might be a case of improvisational performance art gone very, very wrong, 36 year old Carmen Tisch of Colorado scratched, punched, dropped her pants and rubbed her bare buttocks on a $30 million Clyfford Still painting at the Clyfford Still museum in Denver.  Tisch’s outburst caused $10,000 in damage to the painting, titled [...]

“It Doesn’t Appear She Urinated On The Painting Or The Urine Damaged It” is a post from Giving Up the Ship - Last One Out...Turn out the Lights. All Rights Reserved.

]]> In what might be a case of improvisational performance art gone very, very wrong, 36 year old Carmen Tisch of Colorado scratched, punched, dropped her pants and rubbed her bare buttocks on a $30 million Clyfford Still painting at the Clyfford Still museum in Denver.  Tisch’s outburst caused $10,000 in damage to the painting, titled “1957-J no.2″.  Tisch apparently intended to urinate on the painting as well

“It doesn’t appear she urinated on the painting or that the urine damaged it, so she’s not being charged with that,” Kimbrough said according to the Denver Post.

Apparently, urinating on  painting is a separate crime in Colorado. Tisch, who is presumed to have been drunk at the time, has been held on bond since the incident.

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]]> http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/05/it-doesnt-appear-she-urinated-on-the-painting-or-the-urine-damaged-it/feed/ 0 Man Looks To Rebound After Rejected Marriage Proposal At UCLA Basketball Game http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/05/man-looks-to-rebound-after-rejected-marriage-proposal-at-ucla-basketball-game/ http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/05/man-looks-to-rebound-after-rejected-marriage-proposal-at-ucla-basketball-game/#comments Thu, 05 Jan 2012 12:57:25 +0000 captain http://www.givinguptheship.com/?p=392 One young man is struggling to rebound after his awkward marriage proposal on the UCLA “mistletoe cam” was followed by a long pause and a fleeing bride-to-not-be.  The man’s words: “I knew that I was going to do this since the first day that I met you, and I figured now was as good a [...]

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]]> One young man is struggling to rebound after his awkward marriage proposal on the UCLA “mistletoe cam” was followed by a long pause and a fleeing bride-to-not-be.  The man’s words: “I knew that I was going to do this since the first day that I met you, and I figured now was as good a time as any.”  He figured now was as good a time as any? Really puts the magic in the moment, doesn’t it. Guess she figured it was as good a time as any to dump him and bolt.

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]]> http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/05/man-looks-to-rebound-after-rejected-marriage-proposal-at-ucla-basketball-game/feed/ 0 Paypal Orders Destruction Of Valuable Antique Violin http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/05/paypal-orders-destruction-of-valuable-antique-violin/ http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/05/paypal-orders-destruction-of-valuable-antique-violin/#comments Thu, 05 Jan 2012 04:35:20 +0000 captain http://www.givinguptheship.com/?p=386 In one of the more surreal customer service nightmares we’ve come across recently, Paypal ordered a disgruntled buyer to destroy a $2500 violinand provide evidence of said destruction in order to get their money back after they claimed it was a counterfeit.  The seller, who was never given a chance to dispute the counterfeit claim [...]

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]]> In one of the more surreal customer service nightmares we’ve come across recently, Paypal ordered a disgruntled buyer to destroy a $2500 violinand provide evidence of said destruction in order to get their money back after they claimed it was a

Image representing PayPal as depicted in Crunc...

Image via CrunchBase

counterfeit.  The seller, who was never given a chance to dispute the counterfeit claim is now out both $2500 and the violin.  The violin was definitely an antique, and had been authenticated and examined prior to sale, but Paypal never heard any of that. A warning to all who accept Paypal for purchase- the company may act in capricious and damaging ways to rob you of your livelihood or property.

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]]> http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/05/paypal-orders-destruction-of-valuable-antique-violin/feed/ 0 Paraglider Vs. Truck- Who Wins? http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/04/paraglider-vs-truck-who-wins/ http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/04/paraglider-vs-truck-who-wins/#comments Wed, 04 Jan 2012 20:26:06 +0000 captain http://www.givinguptheship.com/?p=377 We’ve never gone paragliding, nor do we have any interest in doing so.  But we’re pretty sure that the example in the clip below violates what we imagine to be rule #1 of paragliding: watch where you land! Related articles How to Picnic While Paragliding (thedailymeal.com) Paraglider rescued after crashing into tree during take-off (telegraph.co.uk) [...]

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]]> We’ve never gone paragliding, nor do we have any interest in doing so.  But we’re pretty sure that the example in the clip below violates what we imagine to be rule #1 of paragliding: watch where you land!

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]]> http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/04/paraglider-vs-truck-who-wins/feed/ 0 Million Dollar Maybe- Man Arrested Passing Fake Bill At Walmart http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/02/million-dollar-maybe-man-arrested-passing-fake-bill-at-walmart/ http://www.givinguptheship.com/2012/01/02/million-dollar-maybe-man-arrested-passing-fake-bill-at-walmart/#comments Mon, 02 Jan 2012 05:30:23 +0000 captain http://www.givinguptheship.com/?p=371 Michael Anthony Fuller no longer feels like a million dollars.  There’s a scene in Airplane 2 where Sonny Bono walks into a store and nonchalantly selects several items before sheepishly asking for “the second time bomb on the left”. We imagine that Mr. Fuller’s recent trip to Walmart was much like that. Mr Fuller selected [...]

Million Dollar Maybe- Man Arrested Passing Fake Bill At Walmart is a post from Giving Up the Ship - Last One Out...Turn out the Lights. All Rights Reserved.

]]> Michael Anthony Fuller no longer feels like a million dollars.  There’s a scene in Airplane 2 where Sonny Bono walks into a store and nonchalantly selects several items before sheepishly asking for “the second time bomb on the left”. We imagine that Mr. Fuller’s recent trip to Walmart was much like that. Mr Fuller selected a vacuum cleaner, a microwave oven and other items- in total, $476 in merchandise.  He ambled up to the checkout and attempted to pay with a $1 million bill that he had made.  Mr. Fuller now sits in jail on $17,500 bail. We suggest he not attempt to pay it with a $20,000 bill.

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