Giving Up the Ship » Oops

US Deports Natural-Born 14 Year Old Runaway To Columbia

captain — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 01:41:44 +0000

Jakadrien Turner was born in the United States. She is a United States Citizen. She speaks is African-American and speaks no Spanish. Yet when she was arrested last year in Houston for shoplifiting, six month after the 14 year old ran away from her home in Dallas, police decided she was a 22 year old illegal immigrant from Columbia and turned over to United States Immigration and Customs Enforcement(ICE). It seems she had the misfortune of giving a fake name which found a match in their database. One would think that it would be simple to determine that a 14 year old African-American girl with no knowledge of Spanish was not a 22 year old Columbian national. After all, ICE tells us

ICE officials also noted there have been instances where ICE has seen cases of individuals providing inaccurate information regarding who they are and their immigration status for ulterior motives.

A strange way to say that people lie to ICE. That should be obvious. And, one would think, better at detecting falsehoods. It’s certainly not a defense for deporting a 14 year old girl. Meanwhile, as her family awaits her return, Ms. Turner sits in a Columbian prison, apparently pregnant, and waiting for Columbian authorities to agree to her release back to the United States.

Teenager Mistakenly Deported To Columbia (crooksandliars.com)
14-Year-Old American Runaway Accidently Deported (alan.com)
Teenager Missing Since 2010 Was Accidentally Deported To Colombia (outsidethebeltway.com)
American “Accidentally” Deported to Colombia Found Alive (dvorak.org)

Man Looks To Rebound After Rejected Marriage Proposal At UCLA Basketball Game

captain — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 12:57:25 +0000

One young man is struggling to rebound after his awkward marriage proposal on the UCLA “mistletoe cam” was followed by a long pause and a fleeing bride-to-not-be. The man’s words: “I knew that I was going to do this since the first day that I met you, and I figured now was as good a time as any.” He figured now was as good a time as any? Really puts the magic in the moment, doesn’t it. Guess she figured it was as good a time as any to dump him and bolt.

Failed marriage proposal at UCLA basketball game is YouTube hit – video (mirror.co.uk)
Obligatory: The UCLA Jumbotron marriage proposal (hotair.com)
Basketball proposal fails news: Girl flees proposal at match (thesun.co.uk)
Video :: UCLA Basketball Marriage Proposal Fail (theoriginalwinger.com)

Paraglider Vs. Truck- Who Wins?

captain — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 20:26:06 +0000

We’ve never gone paragliding, nor do we have any interest in doing so. But we’re pretty sure that the example in the clip below violates what we imagine to be rule #1 of paragliding: watch where you land!

How to Picnic While Paragliding (thedailymeal.com)
Paraglider rescued after crashing into tree during take-off (telegraph.co.uk)
AMAZING: Vulture Rams Paraglider, Both Survive (VIDEO) (blippitt.com)
Man takes a crash course in paragliding (thesun.co.uk)

Tales of the Undead

Guru — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 04:43:06 +0000

We are not sure which is harder…trying to get yourself declared not dead when an organization thinks you are, or trying to convince an organization that your loved one has died and thus will not need them anymore…

Sprint refuses to cancel the account of a man’s brother, who died suddenly in December. After over forty minutes, the best he could get was a $5.95 a month vacation hold. He had all the information and passwords, but no death certificate for eight to ten weeks, since he passed in his sleep with no apparent cause of death. There is no indication they even informed him they would do so when such a document was available.
Verizon has done just the opposite, declaring Catherine McCall, a Verizon retiree, deceased, even though she is not. In August, she lost her husband, and in early November, notified the company to stop sending a stipend to pay her husband’s medical costs. Not long after, a letter arrived addressed to her estate, demanding the return of the September through November pension checks, and a letter to her husband, advising that since his wife was dead, he was no longer eligible for the stipend. Despite vows to repair the problem, she did not receive a December or January pension check…as this Philadelphia Inquirer suggested, perhaps the slogan, “We Never Stop Working for You,” is inaccurate.

Shortchanged? Set the Place on Fire

Guru — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 02:49:05 +0000

WFTV Florida reports that an angry woman is accused of setting a Walgreens on fire. One moment…she was angry about receiving incorrect change, and the next, she was going up and down the aisles lighting things on fire with a lit cigarette.

In the Walgreens TV commercials, they recount the story of the town of Perfect. The idea being that if you can’t be in ‘Perfect’, why not try Walgreens? Nobody is perfect…of course, most of us don’t burn down the house to protest imperfection.

The Curious Disappearance of Mariesa Weber

captain — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 17:48:43 +0000

Mariesa Weber, a 38 year old Winn-Dixie cashier lived with her parents and her sister. Late in October, she came home, greeted her mother, went to her room, and disappeared. For 2 weeks, the family searched for her, believing she had been abducted. They distributed fliers and appealed for her return on television. All the while an incresingly foul odor developed in her room in the house they shared. Unable to locate her, the family attributed the odor to dead rats in the walls.

Finally, two weeks after she disappeared, her sister made a horrifying discovery. Feeling behind a bookshelf, she touched a foot. Further investigation confirmed that it was indeed the body of Mariesa. Apparently while attempting to adjust the plug to her television, Mariesa fell headfirst off a dresser and became lodged behind the bookshelf where she asphyxiated.

This reminds us of the time we got bored playing hide and seek and gave up trying to find the hider, who was ensconced in a very clever spot. Hours later, she came out, and she was quite upset. Well, now we can say to her, with great confidence, it could have been far worse. But you probably don’t want to have either us or the Webers on your search party should you go missing.

Knowledge of the law is no excuse

captain — Wed, 27 Sep 2006 22:47:35 +0000

A Brazilian woman, illegally living and working in Britain, has been convicted of blackmailing a female immigration judge who had employed her. Roselane Driza also had an intimate relationship with another (male) immigration judge and stole 2 explicit video tapes from him, one featuring him and the first judge in flagrante delicto. In addition, Driza claimed that the tape showed the female judge snorting cocaine. Evidence presented included text messages from the male judge to Driza, calling her, among other things, “chilli hot stuff.”

According to the Sun, “The conduct of the Judges involved may be investigated.” Granted, we’re not familiar with the rules of English jurisprudence, or the ethical codes thereof. But it seems to us that at the very least, immigration judges who are known to have employed or engaged in any relationship with illegal aliens must immediately be removed from their positions. To do otherwise would be to make a mockery of the law. Or to prove true the words of Dickens’ Mr. Bumble: “The law is a ass — a idiot.”

Worst Thing Ever

captain — Wed, 27 Sep 2006 19:03:09 +0000

Steve Silver calls it the “worst thing ever” and we can’t disagree. A young mother returned to the homeless shelter where she was staying after a night of drinking. After retrieving her baby from a sitter, she went to sleep with the baby and sometime later, vomited into a bucket of cleaning solution near her bed. At some point later, the baby fell off the bed and drowned in the bucket of vomit. The New York Times reports:

“It sounds like a tragic accident,” said Judge Alexander Jeong, as Ms. DeJesus sat before him, her face buried in her hands. But, the judge added, “there was some responsibility.”

Our reaction to this surprises even us. Though we are usually all in favor of harsh punishment, we wonder what purpose it serves here. The mother was clearly negligent, but can any punishment hold a candle to the pain she must already feel? In such a horrific case, it’s easy to demand a pound of flesh, but the harder choice, compassion, would appear to be the more proper course.

Logan's Zeroes

captain — Tue, 12 Sep 2006 22:14:44 +0000

We were both amused and disturbed to learn recently from Flight Wisdom of a recent incident at Logan Airport in Boston. It seems that as part of a security drill, 8 ounces of potent plastic explosive were attatched to the bumper of a vehicle in a secure parking area. Over a week later the explosives have still not been found. During the test, a Massport employee, unaware of the drill, got into the vehicle and drove off. Nearly 10 minutes later, and a mile and a half away, the truck was found, sans explosive. Despite exhaustive searches of the airport propeincluding the dismantling of a street sweeper, the explosive remain missing. State Police assure us that without a detanator the explosives pose little threat.

We wonder: If explosives can disappear without a trace so easily during a controlled situation, how can we trust security to detect explosives carried by a dedicated attacker?

Kyra Phillips Reports On Location

captain — Fri, 01 Sep 2006 21:06:56 +0000

In an episode reminiscent of The Naked Gun, CNN anchor Kyra Phillips took a bathroom break during a Presidential address without having her mike turned off (video). While there, she spoke negatively of men, excluding her husband whom she praised. She also referred to her sister-in-law as a “control freak.” Phillips seems to have taken the epsiode in good humor, appearing on David Letterman’s show and delivering a Top 10 List of excuses for her behavior. We have yet to hear whether her control freak sister-in-law has taken the episode in equally good humor. Good thing she wasn’t on an airplane, the FBI would have gotten involved.

Giving Up the Ship » Oops

US Deports Natural-Born 14 Year Old Runaway To Columbia

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