Archive for the ‘Sportsman of the Year Award’ category

Terrell Owens Sportsman of The Year Award Nominees

October 23rd, 2006

A recent rash of articles crossing our desk has inspired us to create an award to recognize those involved in youth sports who do the most to promote, how do we put this, differently-valued sportsmanship. We’re big tent people, and certainly wouldn’t deign to impose our outdated definitions of sportsmanship on today’s youth. Clearly these other approaches have won out in the marketplace of ideas, so it’s time to recognize those who have done the most to further this new and exciting era of sports. And as we could not think of an athlete who exemplifies this trend more than Terrell Owens, we’ve decided to name the award in his honor. We’ll start out with 2 nominees below, but encourage reader submissions in the comments.

1) Wayne Derkotch: Unhappy with the amount of playing time his son was receiving in a 6 and 7 year old football game, Mr. Derkotch pulled a gun on the coach. Mr. Derkotch had the presence of mind to flee before anyone was injured, and was later arrested.

2) Mark R. Downs Jr.: Mr. Downs was convicted of paying one of the players he coached $25 to twice bean a mildly autistic player on his own team so he would be unable to play in a little league playoff game. The 9 year old autistic boy was hit once in the groin and once in the ear, and has since been afraid to participate in new activities. At the sentencing, the judge stated “These acts are extremely outrageous and extremely reprehensible since the defendant was involved in the coaching of a youth league.” How quaint. Apparently the judge is not familiar with the new era of sportsmanship.
Remember to submit additional paragons of sportsmanship and check back here for the finalists and winners.

If you don't make the cut… cut your rival

September 14th, 2006

Apparently Mitch Cozad was unhappy playing second fiddle as backup punter to starting punter Rafael Mendoza at Northern Colorado. Cozad alledgedly attacked Mendoza from behind as he got out of his car near his apartment, stabbing him in his kicking leg. Cozad was arrested not long after the incident, and suspended from school and the team. This reminds us of the man who after being denied boarding when showing up late for his flight who called in a bomb threat from an airport payphone. Tip to all aspiring criminals: don’t commit a crime where you are the only reasonable suspect.

Wearing Nothing But a Seatbelt

September 7th, 2006

Detroit Lions assistant coach Joe Cullen was arrested for “driving on public streets without any clothes on. (NUDE).” It’s been a busy couple of weeks for Cullen, who was also arrested for driving drunk in a separate incident one week later. Cullen was fired last year from a coaching job at Ole Miss after being arrested for public drunkenness in a restaurant, and there are other disturbing public incidents in has past. One wonders why PR conscious organizations like NFL teams and Universities continue to hire people with dubious background. The Lions have announced that Cullen will be seeking “treatment.” Our guess: while Cullen may have been a Lion in the fall, he won’t be a Lion in winter.