In what might be a case of improvisational performance art gone very, very wrong, 36 year old Carmen Tisch of Colorado scratched, punched, dropped her pants and rubbed her bare buttocks on a $30 million Clyfford Still painting at the Clyfford Still museum in Denver.  Tisch’s outburst caused $10,000 in damage to the painting, titled “1957-J no.2″.  Tisch apparently intended to urinate on the painting as well

“It doesn’t appear she urinated on the painting or that the urine damaged it, so she’s not being charged with that,” Kimbrough said according to the Denver Post.

Apparently, urinating on  painting is a separate crime in Colorado. Tisch, who is presumed to have been drunk at the time, has been held on bond since the incident.

Related articles

• Police unsure if woman urinated on $30m abstract expressionist painting (boingboing.net)
• Clyfford Still’s $30 Million Painting ’1957-J No.2′ Ruined after Woman Rubs Buttocks on It (blippitt.com)
• So Guess What This Woman Did To A $30 Million Dollar Painting (buzzfeed.com)
• Woman Punches, Urinates Near $30M Painting (patspapers.com)

In one of the more surreal customer service nightmares we’ve come across recently, Paypal ordered a disgruntled buyer to destroy a $2500 violinand provide evidence of said destruction in order to get their money back after they claimed it was a

Image via CrunchBase

counterfeit.  The seller, who was never given a chance to dispute the counterfeit claim is now out both $2500 and the violin.  The violin was definitely an antique, and had been authenticated and examined prior to sale, but Paypal never heard any of that. A warning to all who accept Paypal for purchase- the company may act in capricious and damaging ways to rob you of your livelihood or property.

Related articles

• PayPal Tells Buyer To Destroy Purchased Violin Instead Of Return For Refund (consumerist.com)
• PayPal orders destruction of antique violin by buyer (geek.com)
• PayPal strikes again, and this time an antique violin pays the ultimate price (digitaltrends.com)
• PayPal told dissatisfied buyer to destroy violin rather than return it (shortformblog.tumblr.com)
• PayPal Smashed Some Lady’s Antique Violin, and Can Smash Yours Too [Wtf] (gizmodo.com)
• PayPal Makes Buyer Destroy a Valuable Antique Violin To Get a Refund (laughingsquid.com)
• PayPal: if you don’t like the violin you bought, smash it and we’ll give you your money back (boingboing.net)

Michael Anthony Fuller no longer feels like a million dollars.  There’s a scene in Airplane 2 where Sonny Bono walks into a store and nonchalantly selects several items before sheepishly asking for “the second time bomb on the left”. We imagine that Mr. Fuller’s recent trip to Walmart was much like that. Mr Fuller selected a vacuum cleaner, a microwave oven and other items- in total, $476 in merchandise.  He ambled up to the checkout and attempted to pay with a $1 million bill that he had made.  Mr. Fuller now sits in jail on $17,500 bail. We suggest he not attempt to pay it with a $20,000 bill.

Related articles

• North Carolina Man Michael Anthony Fuller Tries to Use $1M Bill at Walmart (ibtimes.com)
• Walmart clerk rejects $1 million bill (upi.com)

As older brothers, we certainly don’t want to discourage fraternal obedience, but sometimes you’ve just got to say no to your older brother. For example, if he asks you to swallow an ounce of cocaine he’s hiding in his buttocks, you should refuse. Case in point: 20 year old Wayne Joshua Mitchell died last month after swallowing an ounce of cocaine that had been hidden in his 23 year old brother’s buttocks. Mitchell was attempting to protect his brother from a long prison sentence, but they were unaware that their entire interaction was videotaped in the back of a police car

Video from inside the police car captured a conversation between the brothers, where Deangelo pleads with his younger brother to take the cocaine in his bottom and eat it to get rid of it.

“One of us gotta do it, you the only one that don’t have any strikes. …You my little brother… I’m gonna get life,” Deangelo said to Wayne.

Deangelo was bailed out the next day, but has now been rearrested and charged with involuntary manslaughter in the death of his loyal brother.

Related articles

• Man Dead After Eating Cocaine From Brother’s Buttocks (Video) (thedaleygator.wordpress.com)
• Man eats drugs stashed in brother’s butt, dies (thegrio.com)

After 77 years of marriage, including a short separation a decade ago, a 99 year old Italian man, Antonio C, has finally found the excuse he’s been waiting for to divorce his wife. Recently, while going through some drawers, Antonio found letters his wife had written to a lover in the 1940s.  Confronted with the letters, 96 year old Rosa confessed and apologized, but Antonio decided the divorce must proceed. Antonio appears to be the oldest person to ever file for divorce. We guess he was waiting for his grandchildren to grow up

Related articles

• Wow: 99-year-old Man Files For Divorce After 77 Years of Marriage (clutchmagonline.com)
• After 77 Years Of Wedded Bliss, 90-Year-Old Husband Files For Divorce [Divorce] (jezebel.com)
• Italian Man Divorcing Wife Over Seventy-Year-Old Affair (lezgetreal.com)