As if Colorado Spring, Colorado didn’t have enough to worry about these days with wildfires ravaging the area, now there’s a new threat: a giant hungry lizard. Teller County Sheriff Mike Ensinger warned residents of Woodland Park that the six-foot long lizard, named Dino (what else?), had broken through his leash on Tuesday and crawled…
Clearly someone wasn’t paying close enough attention in investment banker class. Instead of simply milking his clients for money like a normal thief, Edgar Repko, of Newburgh, NY, tried to get creative. Police in Newburgh say that they caught Mr. Repko, 29, trying to pry his way in to a local pharmacy while wearing a…
From the “It might be time to give up the driver’s seat” file… 72 year old Louise Ericksen of Northern Minnesota was driving her Chevy Impala, when the car crossed the median, and ran in to a ditch. The car smacked right in to a “No Passing” sign (which Ericksen may have seen, if she hadn’t…
Ron Olson was preparing his 40,000 square foot lawn for an annual fundraiser he runs to benefit the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Wanting to ensure that everything would be perfect, Mr. Olson purchased and applied Ferti-lome weed killer to remove unsightly weeds. Unfortunately, Mr. Olson failed to read page 2 of the attached 8 page instruction…
If you’re like us, or most literate Americans who grew up in the last 50 years, you probably fondly remember the greatest creation of Donald Sobol, a computer in tennis shoes, Leroy “Encyclopedia” Brown. We were saddened to learn today of the death of Mr. Sobol last week in Miami. Mr. Sobol, who was 87,…
The Joker, some may recall, used to ask his victims “Have you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight?” John Ernest Cross, a 30 year old Iowan, apparently prefers moonwalking to moonlight. Cross was arrested after reportedly pointing a semiautomatic rifle at another man and ordering him perform the moonwalk. At an initial…
Stephen Colbert was too late to get on the ballot in South Carolina, so he asked his supporters to vote for Herman Cain to show support for him. Was the potential candidate able to move the needle? With 99% of precincts reporting, Cain has 6274 votes to 2430 for Rick Perry, 1130 for Jon Huntsman,…
We didn’t go to fancy journalism school, so you’ll have to excuse our naivete in assuming that a news article ought to include news. So we were pretty puzzled when we came across an article in The Vancouver Sun entitled “Museum curator may have answer to Vancouver Island totem-pole mystery” Could be interesting we thought.…
Khadijah Baseer really, really wanted some Chicken McNuggets, but lacked the cash with which to purchase them. So she did what any other crazy or altered person with a craving for processed chicken-like meat would do- started walking down the drive thru line at 11PM, opening doors and offering sex for Chicken McNuggets. Shockingly, rather…
Natasha Mitchell of Kitchener, Ontario hired a local franchise of Two Small Men With Big Hearts to move all of her family’s belongings in 2009. She’s still waiting for them to arrive. The company showed up on the appointed day, but refused to release Mitchell’s possessions unless she paid $890 on the spot- far more…